Family stuff

Among my many projects is a genealogy for my family. Along the way, I've learned about some fascinating people -- some who fled oppression for freedom, a stowaway, war heroes, a few scoundrels, and one who survived the infamous Andersonville Prison Camp in the U.S. Civil War. (For those who don't know, Andersonville survivors came out looking like those who survived concentration camps in World War II.)

Over time, I've come to realize that the rest of the family really isn't very interested in this genealogy. I've backed off of it a lot in the process, but I'm at the point now of being ready to make the family tree for them.

My plan is to do what are called ascending family trees, where you start with someone modern and trace ancestors back. I'm also planning to write out stories, since a few family members want to know those.

In the midst of all this, we had a gigantic family fight tonight. It didn't even involve most of the people in the family, but it adds one more layer to my feeling of, "Why am I doing this again?"

I'm having to deal with controversies at work (around me, not centered on me, but I'm stuck in the middle of them) and things have been slowed to a crawl on the freelance front for me for the last two weeks between other family issues, work overspill and a bad case of the flu.

The whole thing's got me down. Overall, I keep telling myself things are going well, but it's just hard to feel that way tonight.

Yeah, I know, I'm whining. But I just wish it felt even remotely worthwhile to have done all this work for something that feels like it's falling apart.

Ultimately, the family will survive. I just wish my heart was in the genealogy like it used to be. I used to love it. Now it's just one more chore.

Sigh ...